A Failure That I Have Learned From

Shelley Latreille


Things are not what they seem. People can never be just one personality. Things, animals, humans, can snap at any given moment. As I stand here on this balcony, I witness this magical feat.

Imagine! There you sit, dining with your family, and then, BANG! You fall from your chair and receive a sharp blow to the head. In an instant, your whole life is ruined.

Your whole life is changed! You become a new person, with a different personality and different views, sane or insane, it would not matter. You would forget your old identity and become this new, sanctified person.

But when this happens, does the soul wither away and die, allowing a new one to enter the new state of mind so that the body does not become dead inside, like my own florescent decadence?

Another scene comes into play, like on a television screen. Think of all the times that you have crossed the streets of your neighborhood without looking both ways before you cross. Then one day you cross without looking and OOPS! A car hits you. You are then rushed to the hospital with much apathetic concern for your safety and well-being.

But after a few hours, when the painkillers wear off (Funny isn’t it? When they use something to kill your pain when you yourself have almost been killed. They will try almost anything to ruin your life) you find that you are paralyzed from the neck down. Your whole life just stops and your mind may go from sane to insane in just a matter of seconds as your happiness turns to rage and hatred for the driver of the car who hit you. You must think he took your life away, but in a wicked reality, he did just that.

Now your old life ceases to exist and after a few days or maybe a few weeks you will forget about your old life. And your new insane and non-moving life will settle into place. But the glorification of it all is that it does not just take a serious blow to the head to make someone lose their ever precious state of mind and turn into an insane monster (though everyone can become a hideous monster at certain times of their plastic lifestyles).

When you are born you are supposed to be psychologically sane (though some accounts do prove that some people are born as worshippers of demented gods and various other oddities, through constant avoidance of their imagination, mind you). You are also supposed to be pure and innocent without any prior knowledge of life or death. It is the people you grow up with that contribute knowledge to your ever-growing brain, filling it with either goodness or madness. You really have no choice in the matter. But if it is madness that they are filling your head with, then you might as well end your life before it blossoms and grows into some non-existent fruit.

These people who you call your guardians will fill your head with anger and lies. You may try not to believe it at first, but soon their lies and illusions will become your only waking reality. Soon you will be a freak with an altered reality. Everyone will laugh, but at the same time, they will be frightened (even fear can alter someone’s common sense, although we do not know how common someone’s sense is, even if we know that they have all their so-called senses).

At this time, you will be taken to see a top of the line psychiatrist (my career of choice, I think) who will mess with your head some more.

The psychiatrist will try to make you sane through hypnosis by erasing the bad memories that were drilled into your head thoroughly. But of course, this will not work. After a while, the psychiatrist will admit defeat and stop his little effortless mind games with your head. The psychiatrist will then label you delusional and commonly insane. You then will be shipped off to a mental hospital in a fashionable wooden crate, where you will spend the rest of your life banging your head up against a cool, crisp metal wall. Some parents will do anything to get rid of their children.

Now I hope that you will believe me when I say that anything can make a person go mad. Any of these will do it, but you can also go insane naturally. One minute you will be here with everyone and then the next minute you will be out of it, not knowing what is going on. But eventually everyone will forget about you, so I guess it does not matter what happens.

I think that there is a moral to this story. Never like anyone for their bodies, that is just a trivial waste of time. Now, to like someone for their minds is a challenge. One minute they will be talking to you in a sane and rational manner, and the next, they will be jumping out a sixth story window, eagerly awaiting the songs of their hellish death (what a wonderfully pleasant sound that would make).

In other words, if you like someone for their mind, go for it. You can have wonderful cherished moments with them. Their mind could go at any fleeting moment, along with your cherished moments together. But also make sure that you take care of yourself, for you too are in danger of paralyzing your mind’s eye. The bad part of all this is that you cannot trust anyone. The world is like the Devil’s playground because you can never know who someone is and you can never truly get to know them.

But you never know, the world and the people around you could all be just a sadistic illusion. So never believe what they tell you because it is inevitable that this will happen to you! And that is a failure I’ve learned from.