We are a couple just like any other couple. We laugh, argue, and grow together. We work hard each day. We enjoy life each day. We look in the mirror and see no differences between us and others. Others look at us and see a problem. We are seen as less than human. We are seen as a disease. We are seen as interracial.
Walking in the Costco parking lot on a sunny afternoon. Hand in hand with our little boy on his father's shoulders. We are nicely dressed. I am in a new summer dress and he is in dress pants with a nice graphic tee-shirt. People turn away. We aren't looked in the eyes by most couples. An older woman locks her car doors as she drives next to us. “Did you see that,” I exclaim to my partner. “We are so scary with our four-year-old boy that she had to lock her doors while driving next to us.” I have to brush off the embarrassment and hurt with yet another joke. We are considered thug status on this summer day. We are now the fear in the back of your mind. People slide past cars to walk down a different parking lane. Few people greet us with a smile and a hello. It quickly sets into my mind that even in the north society of Utah we are less than. We are less than others see in themselves. When we release our hands and step away from each other our thug status fades away instantly. We are again seen as more, just not as enough.
When you are a woman, you are seen as a piece of meat. You do not get full thoughts or opinions. You get less than men. You “make 77 cents for every dollar a man earns”. In the eyes of most men, you will never be more than a woman. You are not able to do everything men can do. You are expected to be fragile and dependent.
When you are black you are not seen at all. You are invisible as a person. You are nothing more than something to fear. You are the underbelly of society, the problems of the generation, the disease of the world. You have to work twice as hard as your white counterparts for half of the credit in your work. You are not treated justly by authority or others. You are seen as “nice enough”, but not ever good enough to compete.
When you are a white woman and a black man you are less. You have to work harder, fight harder, and adapt faster. You have to have thicker skin, even when it comes to family. You have to adapt to each other's cultural background. You have to live in two separate worlds at a single time.
Jacobson, L. (2014, January/February). Barack Obama, in State of the Union, says women make 77 cents for every dollar a man earns. Retrieved September 10, 2016, from http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2014/jan/29/barack-obama/barack-obama-state-union-says-women-make-77-cents-/