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SLCC's Premiere Art & Literary Magazine

Can I Let Go?

Hannah Erskine

So utterly consumed

Flaming passion

Unstoppable

But no joy

Wait

What?

Why no joy?

Whenever I hear this story

See their faces

Wonder about them

My heart aches

Not from longing

With pain

Unhealthy

What I love

Makes me sink

Suffering spirit

Weakened heart

My soul's turmoil

I should not love things

That affect me so

Pulling me down

Instead of inspiring me

To rise

But they're addicting

Hard to turn away from

Easy to rationalize

Easy to write off

I can indulge

One more day

I can indulge

One more hour

The cycle is unending

And damaging

I'm hurting myself

For temporary things

That do not make me

Happy

A tenacious being

My effort is Herculean

When I begin

To cut the lines

The lifelines to my obsession

The lifeblood of my addiction

For it cannot live

Without me

But I cannot thrive

With it

It hurts

I've gone unchecked

Too long

Still a tenacious being

I cling to the torturer

I hang on the pain

For a rush

A rush that feels necessary

For functioning

I'm pushing

I'm pulling

At the same time

Letting go

With every finger but one

Letting go with my heart

But not my thoughts

Letting go with my spirit

But not my body

I have to cut the lines

Dig deep to unearth them

That festering nest

Planted in my core

Where it's the safest

When passion

Becomes addiction

Be aware

Of the rabbit hole

Through which you've fallen

Don't jump in headlong

Before seeing

The snake pit far below

And the snake pits lying ahead